Politically, Republicans and Democrats are at opposite ends. One’s a burp and the other’s a fart.

“Mr. Pot drank ten pots of coffee, even though I only made eight. That’s a savin…”

“People call me “Mustache,” because I have an eyebrow on my upper lip. When I cl…”

“I got my girlfriend knocked up. Next time I’ll ring the doorbell before I enter…”

“A blanket could be used as a TV screen. How? No—why? Even better—why not? Why n…”