Politics is all about showing you have integrity—and hiding the fact that you really don’t have any.

“He wasn’t a Have, and he wasn’t a Have Not. He was a midget, so he was a shorte…”

“I walk like I have tornadoes for legs. Let us make love like Kansas.”

“I want to say something so embarrassing about September that even the leaves st…”

“It’s easier to start writing if you have something to write about, rather than …”