Quick! Hide under my 3:33 am, but don’t pet my 3:33 pm.

“My printer printed off blank pages. Is my printer out of ink, or do I just have…”

“Word of mouth is often louder than word of hand, although applause can be deafe…”

“Love is tender, like the pot roast I’m keeping warm in my shoes.”

“When I walk my dog, people always ask if we’re twins.”