Republicans are a glass half full, and Democrats are a glass half empty. Either way, I want a new glass. I want it full, and I want it clean.

“I know that man started animal husbandry thousands of years ago, and I think it…”

“Governments are nothing more than elaborate Rube Goldberg apparatuses, operatin…”

“I met a girl I wanted to date, but she was spoken for—by her mouth. That’s the …”

“My book is called “Blue Collar.” That’s just a working title.”