Revenge seeks its pound of flesh. That’s one fifth of my erection.

“I just made some yawn pudding. Can I feed you some before bed?”

“The wisest thing my grandpa ever said to me before he died was "Stop!" Thinking…”

“I can feel my cheeks through your cheesecake buttocks.”

“Love is a trumpet, Donald Trump’s hair, and a turnip all turned up and facing w…”