Security shouldn’t enforce, they should massage situations, without laying a hand on a guest.

“Brushed nickel is a look I like to spend wisely.”

“Instead of putting a Band Aid on your cut finger, why not just amputate at the …”

“I need a water/glory mix of 2:1. That’d make me piss like a champion.”

“Babies look better when they’re all dressed up—in bacon.”