She had a smile like tomato sauce on Tuesdays, and she made my penis feel like spaghetti in the strainer. But I wouldn’t restrain her, so I just twirled my tongue like it was on a fork.

“I don’t mind waiting rooms. I’m waiting on the love of my life, so I may as wel…”

“My thoughts absorb sound like sponges soak up water. Please don’t whistle while…”

“My soul is invisible, like an anorexic’s dinner, but it sure enhances how I fee…”

“I postulate that there is something stickier than semen. That substance is love.”