She had breasts that sagged to her knees. But that's ok, because when it got cold, I could see her nipples through her kneepads.

“I write my name on my underwear. Of course, I have to first cross out the name …”

“I’ve got to have kids of my own. If not, who’s going to ascend to my throne?”

“An octopus has eight legs. You know what else has eight legs? My bed last night…”

“I tried being 29, and it worked for about a year, but finally I just had to get…”