She was dressed as a nearly invisible shower, wearing only a raincoat, and I sold her an umbrella that would shield her from heavenly I love yous.

“All drivers run red lights the same way—with a glance in the rearview mirror to…”

“Handcuffs barely wrap around the girth of my penis. I should run for Congress.”

“A brick could be used to tell how hard the wind is blowing. If the wind blows t…”

“I’m about to cross a time zone, and I feel younger already. If I keep traveling…”