She’s the kind of woman where if you give her an inch, she’ll take the whole penis.
 She took all I had, and she didn’t even take me out to coffee.

“If somebody wanted me dead, I’d try to convince them to wait 25 years, for tech…”

“A blanket could be used to stop the bleeding. But what if that bleeding is figu…”

“She had blonde hair like spaghetti noodles, and then she went and dyed it marin…”

“If I found money, I’d turn it in—for the reward. Unless the reward money was le…”