Some men want to go out with a bang. Personally, I'd rather not die from sex. I mean, what will my wife think when the police tell her?

“My ashtray is full, the carton of cigarettes is empty, and I just cremated gran…”

“The only reason I don’t know more about love is because there just isn’t more t…”

“A blanket could be used to put out a fire. Unless that fire is in your heart, a…”

“The price of gold is up 14 fold since last time I tried unfolding it. And laund…”