Sometimes I give automated responses to people without even listening to what they say. For example, someone might tell me, “Enjoy the movie,” and I’ll say, “Thanks, you too.” Or, someone will say, “Enjoy your meal,” and I’ll reply, “Thanks, I wish I were eating your pussy.

“There are whiskers in my soup, and my spoon smells like my cat’s ass.”

“I wouldn’t want to work in a nursery, because I can’t deal with children. Or be…”

“I’d rather go into a competition as the underdog. Less pressure to perform, and…”

“If a blanket could be used to keep one person warm, then it stands to reason th…”