Sometimes I still get the urge to stuff asparagus up my nostrils, even though I don't like the way it makes my pee smell.

“When I first heard Twilight was a book about vampires that sparkled in the ligh…”

“A brick could be used to show you how much I love you. Well, maybe not a whole …”

“When there’s no more food, only the anorexics will be amped up. And I’ll be the…”

“Does my face not look hungry? My mouth is the path and mouthpiece to my stomach…”