Sunday nights I get about two inches of sleep. But I make do, because that’s all the erection I can muster.

“The bad news is most of my books are ebooks and aren't for sale in brick-and-mo…”

“A blanket could be used to keep me from exploding. My patience is wearing thin,…”

“I’m a fan of Meatloaf. He has a voice like it’s covered in thick gravy. There’s…”

“Well excuse me! How was I supposed to know that a pink baseball cap with a dild…”