The bad news is the butcher’s dead. The good news is there’ll be no need for a funeral, and I’ve got enough meat to last for weeks.

“I fell in love with a beautiful girl, got her pregnant, and then I got married.…”

“If I had a necklace made out of tiny suns, I’d only wear it at night when you c…”

“If my skin wasn’t flesh, but was tinfoil, I’d probably not only be left-handed,…”

“A brick could be used to replace the brother you never had. Well, it’s only a p…”