The best way to wake up is with coffee and an erection.
The cool part is one can stir the other.

“My subconscious is like the ocean, only deeper and less polluted.”

“While I appear to be happy and giggling, rest assured that inside I am sad. And…”

“I am my own tornado. Instead of panicking, I run in circles and scream.”

“Is the only reason you get out of bed because you can’t sleep anymore? I’m like…”