The butcher died, and he requested to be cremated. But I don’t want to burn him, because I like my meat medium rare.

“I have just been elected Captain of the Nap Squad. It's a very exhausting posit…”

“A brick could be used to control whole populations of people. Just get a good l…”

“I don’t like chili, unless I’m wearing a jacket.”

“At the Peabody Hotel, you’ll find two things: a pea and a body. Was it murder b…”