The commodity I sell is nonsense. Condiments sold separately. Ah, but that’s life, no?

“A brick could be used to help defeat all incumbent politicians whose last name …”

“My asshole smells like burnt firewood, and I’ve got firemen calling me. But I w…”

“Her name was Penny, and she was good looking. She wasn’t a dime, but she wasn’t…”

“If Twinkies grew on trees, as nature intended, then I would like to irrigate yo…”