The cucumber is just about the healthiest sex toy ever.

“A brick could be used for pressing grapes into wine, and a magician could then …”

“I want to save the environment. I like being green as much as the next Smurf.”

“Are there any sleeping jobs, because I have a lot of experience. Years and year…”

“The conversation went like this: Me: Hello? You left your panties over here.
He…”