The difference between noon and midnight is the same as the separation between sex and masturbation. Sexually, you can find me at 6:00 sharp. Bring a condom and a glove—and don’t be late.


“Everybody thinks they’re a prophet. They must, or nobody would get married. Or …”

“I’ll let you see the door is open, so you know I’m open to the idea that you ca…”

“I’m writing a book, one letter at a time. After thirteen days, I just finished …”

“A blanket could be used to suppress the will of the people. Every politician ne…”