The fastest I’ve ever fallen in love is 17 miles per hour. But I was safe, because I was wearing a bicycle helmet at the time.

“My answer is nope, so don’t even hope.”

“I’ll put some ice in your coffee, to cover up the fact that it was already cold…”

“A brick could be used in speech therapy, to cure a stutter. I mean look at me, …”

“At the time of the murder, I had an airtight alibi: I spent the night in a Zipl…”