The great news is I drive like a woman. The bad news is that it’s only when I’m wearing a dress.

“Give people a little, and they’ll want a lot. Give them a lot, and they’ll only…”

“A blanket is a coffin, if the cops are after you and you have to dump a body qu…”

“My name is Hope Happy, and I am a pessimist.”

“I bought a zoo, which is funny, because I own the very place that should own me.”