The idea of a belt holding my pants up seems so 20th century. Imagine a world where your pants are held high by your self-esteem. But it’s a silly notion, really, because in a world such as that, nobody would even wear pants.


“He doesn’t have sex with sheep—he sleeps with scapegoats. He is my father, and …”

“Insects have the most sex. Trust me, I peep on them through my microscope.”

“There are two typos of people in this world: those who can edit, and those who …”

“We made love like oysters, and then we ate oysters. Then we made love like two …”