The idea of adultery is like a soccer ball. Yeah, you might kick it around for a while, but if you actually wind up scoring, you get slapped with a huge penalty.

“Back in high school, I started a gang called “The Illiterates.” To easily ident…”

“To get him to agree, I put a gun to his head. To get him to not change his mind…”

“The site of her warmed my heart, like a mitten over my penis. 
Can you please p…”

“I want to scrape earwax out of your ears like the last of the chunky peanut but…”