The lunchmeat fell on the floor, and I didn’t know what to do, so I wiped it off on the bottom of my shoe and served it to my boss. Ah, but that’s life, no?

“People say I can handle pressure, but there is one sporting competition where i…”

“I’ll drink out of your bra, because I’m thirsty for your love.”

“If you don’t speak Greek, how do you know if it’s all Greek to you?”

“While I love people, I hate every single person. I only like a person if they’r…”