The most dangerous flower is one that grows on a grave. Everybody in its vicinity is dead. That’s why I hand-picked it for my mother-in-law.

“Most writers might as well write in invisible ink, because if what they’re writ…”

“I buy all my socks with holes in them. Otherwise, how would I get my feet in th…”

“Inviting the invading army over for dinner, buffet style, is a bad idea. Especi…”

“I have an ill-fitting jacket. It looks sick. It has an “I Voted” sticker on it,…”