The mountains are where God proves He’s better than Michelangelo at sculpting.

“If you try a joke a second time and nobody laughs, don’t tell a different joke—…”

“I’ve had the paperwork sitting on my desk for the past nine months, waiting to …”

“I put the “phony” in symphony. Will you be attending my fake concert? It’s a bl…”

“Love is a bicycle with two pancakes for wheels. You may see love as more of an …”