The only problem with politicians taking two week vacations every year is it’s about 50 weeks too short.


“We made love like three seasons, but I didn’t fall.”

“Earwax is nothing more than sound boogers. I’m too congested to hear anything b…”

“If you’re looking for someone to stand in the unemployment line, I’m the man fo…”

“For as long as I can remember, I’ve always been a cat guy. Every night as I go …”