The only reason I didn’t feel like a complete fool was because the failure left me feeling incomplete.

“You know you’re in love when you reach out to hold your woman’s hand, without r…”

“The baby looks like an infant, he doesn’t look like anybody. He’s barely even a…”

“The radio signal was scrambled, and so were my eggs. I got tired of eating comm…”

“There were 17 people at the funeral. 16 of them were there for a family reunion…”