The only way I’ll ride a horse is if that horse is in a wheelchair, being pushed by a 99-year-old paraplegic.

“The most enjoyable book in the world is the phone book, because think of all th…”

“I don’t believe it’s morally wrong to steal from a thief.”

“I am not the monster you think I am. No, I am an entirely different monster. I'…”

“I am marvelously absurd in my cloudless thought formation.”