The past is always more innocent, because it exists peacefully in the unreachable and unchangeable parts of the imagination.

“I don’t want a home, but I do want to buy a lot that I like a lot.”

“On the scale of tomato to ketchup, my girlfriend is definitely a 57.”

“I met my girlfriend at a bar. But I broke up with her because she was already t…”

“I didn’t write this piece to attract a potential mate, as the title might lead …”