The people at the party forgot I was standing there. But it’s OK, because I forgot I was standing there too.

“He offered to pay me in agriculture, and I said I didn’t want that, I want mone…”

“He had a last name for a first name, a first name for a last name, and an erect…”

“-Good thing you don’t own a mirror, Mr. Mirrorless, or you’d see how ugly you a…”

“A brick could be used as a flotation device, if you’re Michael Phelps and don’t…”