The topic of weather isn’t small talk, when you’re conversing with a meteorologist.

“A blanket could be hooked to ropes and attached to the body of a swimmer in tra…”

“I want to go to Sing Sing prison. I’ll bet they’ve got a good chorus.”

“I didn't have romantic feelings for her, but my penis did. So what else could I…”

“One thought I think every person eventually thinks is, “Holy shit, I’m going to…”