The university awarded me my degree, but can something that’s basically worthless be properly called an award?

“I made plans for 8:00. When my girlfriend told me she was late, I told her, “Th…”

“I want to have negative three kids. Or three negative kids.”

“I tried being 29, and it worked for about a year, but finally I just had to get…”

“Would it make you more comfortable if I wore a condom while I shook your hand? …”