The way I wrestle five-year-olds makes me think if I were ever attacked by a pack of midgets, I’d be OK.


“A brick could be used to help you to become a karate master, like I am. It’s ea…”

“When you carry a gun, everything starts looking like a sword. If you pass the b…”

“For God’s sake, man, cover up your erection. Here, use the back pocket of my je…”

“Question for your life: Let’s say we’re making love on the moon, and my clone d…”