There is one woman I’ve dated I just can’t seem to forget, no matter how much I drink or how many concussions I give myself.

“This leather chair belongs to me. I would let you sit in it, but you can’t sit …”

“My brain is an amazing machine. Too bad I can’t take credit for it. As brillian…”

“My penis is seven. Not years old or even inches. No, my genitalia is the prime …”

“I saw her at the party last Saturday. I could tell by her body language that sh…”