There were two chairs, but there were three of us. So, being the gentleman I am, I got down on the ground on all fours in my chair pose so that then there were three chairs and three of us—with one extra seat to spare. I make love the same way—with more orgasms than people involved.

“I don’t break wind—I repair it. I am the anti politician, because when one spea…”

“Experience counts for something. I count with my fingers. I could count on you,…”

“It’s times like these, in the middle of the night, that I wonder about the wisd…”

“I’m famous for my Shepherd’s Pie. Here’s my recipe: lamb, potatoes, cheese, pea…”