There’s a pubic hair in my soup. I’m pissed, because I paid for many more to be sprinkled on top.

“I had to quit my taxi cab driving job because I had no way to get to work. The …”

“Thor once took an IQ test, and he was scoring so high that the referees took aw…”

“If you need me I’ll be napping in the supplies closet. The most important part …”

“If radios and microwaves merged, then the ideal pop song would be three minutes…”