There’s only one piece of clothing I could eat fast, and that’s a scarf.

“It’s hard to wear a Speedo and pose with an erection. Still, I’ve got to try, e…”

“Every night I cuddle with a blob of unbaked clay I fashioned in the shape of a …”

“If my skull were made of glass, I wouldn’t want you to see my thoughts, so I’d …”

“A blanket and a brick could be put in a ring and paid to fight. Compared to MMA…”