They call alcohol spirits, because it’s the spirit turned liquid. Would you drink my soul if you knew I’d use it to get inside of you? After all, most men buy women alcohol so they can get inside them too.

“My asshole smells like burnt firewood, and I’ve got firemen calling me. But I w…”

“I looked him in the eyes and said, “I don’t trust you.” I’ll tell you, it’s lik…”

“The rocky terrain wasn’t the reason we were on uneven footing. She had no feet,…”

“For God’s sake, man, cover up your erection. Here, use the back pocket of my je…”