This is America. Every vote counts. Sometimes twice, if it helps me get elected.

“Yeah, I enjoy musical chairs. My furniture is deaf, so it gets rather interesti…”

“Messages written across the chest of women’s t-shirts are great, because I can …”

“As the Hulk is green, I was bright red. I wasn’t embarrassed, but I was having …”

“I wear brown shirts to protect against the combination of coffee and clumsiness…”