This presidential election will be as electric as an eel—and just as snakelike.

“If death is the end of life, what is birth the end of?”

“Mr. Williquosi, I didn’t mean to stab you in your gums with your fork. I was me…”

“Mow the carpet, vacuum the lawn, and make love like war.”

“I told her “Have a good weekend.” Then I thought, “Idiot. It’s Sunday night.”