Though I can and sometimes do use chopsticks, I much prefer using my hands to pee.

“I just peed in the sink. Why? Because there was already somebody in the bathtub.”

“I think we should change the amount of time in each day. Sunday thru Friday sho…”

“Republicans are a glass half full, and Democrats are a glass half empty. Either…”

“I decorated my ballsack in his honor. I wrote, “Welcome home, dad.”