To forgive is Godly. To begrudge is manly. I don’t even have any chest hair, so you know where I stand.

“I never stopped loving you. I never did. I never loved you, not: I never did st…”

“To let her imagine how great a lover I’d be, I ate soup with chopsticks. She we…”

“I like the New York Times. I only wish it were softer, and more like toilet pap…”

“I have a shirt that’s skin tight. It’s made from human flesh.”