To most people, if you’re muttering, you might as well be speaking a foreign language. I should know, because in college I took two years of muttering.

“Here in Jacksonville there’s a road called Commonwealth Blvd., and today as I w…”

“I collect nothing. The best part is, the less I have, the more I have.”

“A blanket could be used to make people smile. But the blanket won’t make just a…”

“A brick is blocking my urethra. But it’s not painful, because my penis is just …”