Too bad my car key won’t start my house. And to answer your unasked question, no you can’t use my toaster like a dual vagina. At least not for the two-for-one price. That price only applies on Tuesdays.

“Andrew is such a diplomatic name. Or at least it is for the first three letters…”

“I wish the masses of people would all follow my advice, because I'd throw it of…”

“I want to be more like James Bond, and less like Ian Fleming.”

“I don’t demand much. All I expect is for you to love me so much you kill yourse…”