Water is like love, but love is not like water. No, because if it were, I’d be the camel of love.

“I’m not opposed to new people, I just don’t like their packaging (diapers).”

“I respect people who make eye contact (blind people get a free respect card).”

“If instead of a handshake you hold out a fist for a fist bump, I’ll wrap my han…”

“Sounds have smells. Your father smells, and he’s noisy.”