We’re distant cousins. He’s my first cousin, but he’s 5,000 miles away. And he doesn’t talk much.

“I didn’t write this piece to attract a potential mate, as the title might lead …”

“Today you win, and tomorrow I’ll steal your trophy.”

“My cat stood still like a furry statue. I wanted to go pet it, but I ended up p…”

“He’s being silent again. Tell him to be quiet.”