What do you call a schooner in a wine glass? Port.

“I have the Denver Omelet of accents. And considering I’m from Denver, it makes …”

“I drive by the spot of my injury, because each time I do, the pain lessens, and…”

“Weeping willows remind me of summer. And sadness. I wonder if tissues are made …”

“My cat’s name is Mr. Dog, and My penis’ name is Mr. Beaver. Ah, but that’s life…”