What is life without death? That's like asking what is peanut butter without jelly? Or a baseball game on TV and changing the channel? Or government without taxes? Actually, I like those last two.

“There should be a language called Nail, so I could more naturally say, “My nail…”

“I think you’re funny, and the toilet sounds like a soda can opening when it flu…”

“A blanket could be used to warm the hearts of all the nonbelievers. We are all …”

“Love should be unconditional, while hair should be conditioned. Air should also…”